To the New Year (Chinese or other)
January 24, 2012 Leave a Comment
Forget the entitlement you had to my hand
Last year’s promises have all been dismissed
Just another WordPress.com weblog
January 24, 2012 Leave a Comment
Forget the entitlement you had to my hand
Last year’s promises have all been dismissed
January 21, 2012 Leave a Comment
It was the broken car, smashed against the light post
And the dark green jacket half pulled through the window
And the dimness of the winter day, causing all to list into unrealness
And seeing myself outside myself, like some minor character in a black and white movie
That caused my introspection
And the detached acceptance of the fact, that I will never love him
January 20, 2012 Leave a Comment
Seems you can turn off or tune out
I’m begging for you to want to know me
And you appear distracted or uninterested in my complexity
I’ve taken a lover, once or twice, who can match or best me in intensity
But then balance tips to drama and harmony disappears
So with you I tone it down, but it feels like stopping up a gushing well
I just long for you to look into my eyes and search for my soul – beyond personality -
Then wrap me in your arms and say, I understand
That’s how I feel safe
January 19, 2012 Leave a Comment
Sweet though you sing with the sounds of these words
Stuck between teeth, yet longing to be heard
Drink though you dream about death through the night
Song of my soul lolls you from fight
Grow while you whither, dance, fade away
Reckon we ain’t gonna find more to say
January 17, 2012 Leave a Comment
Me & mama up in the tree house
I creep around the corner to spy on her crying
One of us quiet as a mouse, the other sad and delirious with longing and lostness
What ill trouble we bring each other
I creep outside around back to build a nest
For the baby birds and me to start a new family
Someone among us, oh mama, remembers death too often
The other, who likes to play in the trees, knows only ‘now I feel’, ‘this I need’ and ‘here I am’
January 8, 2012 Leave a Comment
We have all
eaten
this betrayal
before
Tastes of
old upholstery fibers inhaled
and finished cedar
A man
Robs
a child
of innocence
and feels fucking great about it
If we had talons
and beaks
Or eight arms with sharp knives
we’d sever
his hands
his penis
his tongue
pluck out his eyes
and slash his skin or burn it
but we’d leave the ears
on that mutant molester
How come?
Y’all know why
January 2, 2012 Leave a Comment
One day I may take you for granted
And feel no thud against my chest at the sound of your voice
One day, lover, this hearty and robust body may turn coldly away from your touch
With such a knowing, a contemptuous familiarity
But for now, my sweet brown eyed man
I sink my teeth in your skin with relish
And remain sleepless until your attentions are spent all only on me
January 2, 2012 Leave a Comment
On the beach at night together
The lovers, neither modest nor young, sing with their hearts to the darkness
As one looks at the stars, the other the reflection of the moon on the water
And I consider the broken, un-rhyming verses of my favorite poets, long dead
Who before my birth learned the secret to cleave soul from body, and possibly, to see the face of God
December 22, 2011 Leave a Comment
I know you, beautiful woman
You smile and I smile with you
Wave your hand, yes I’m coming
To witness you brush your hair
To help you plait it pretty
To sit in the kitchen as it fills will smells of baking love
Our faces get close as we talk in small whispers
Our personhoods dissolve by secret sharing
We drink and laugh past midnight, we
Sing songs of the other that becomes the self
December 17, 2011 Leave a Comment
I keep realizing about myself that I’m not a content person. I’m a striving and a searching person. In work, in play; even in religion where I’m supposed to be at peace for having found the one true and lasting way, there is an itchy sort of reasoning and unraveling. I currently wear this (metaphorical) button, it says: I’m “Muslim, a little on the Sunni side”. Is that an accurate description? I don’t like labels.
During my life I have been attached to Christianity, Scientific atheism, new-age Sufi mysticism and finally to full on Islam. The final step on the conversion ladder came after much praying to God for guidance. Allah swt pointed me at this religion and said, “Go that way.” So here I am, after years of trying hard to be a “good Muslim”, still with the same complaints I had each time I self-identified as part of a group.
Complaint number 1: a notable preponderance for group-think. It’s not just Sunni Muslims. This happens when people get together. I notice that a lot of us buy into whatever reality suits the group conscience. Why can’t I buy into a shared reality? I seem to be of the “reality is highly subjective” breed. We don’t hold regular meetings. I don’t like boxed in thinking. I long to break the box and tear it to pieces. It’s so freeing.
Compliant number 2: It’s hard to make friends and influence people. Because of my weird esoteric ways I tend to think of myself as a sort of Shams of Tabriz. Who is there for me to talk with? Praise God, I do have close friends who “get me” but they are a few scattered kindred spirits. I am honestly annoyed that I can’t seem to influence anyone to come over to this side of seeing things. What, our non-reality isn’t appealing to the masses?
I don’t feel like giving a third complaint. That’s too formulaic. Instead, I shall end my night rant with this impromptu haiku:
Wind carries snowflakes
To the doorstep, a long pause
Ice on window creaks