Ending us feels like
Water pressed from the cream
As all the excess runs away,
Collected and discarded
You’re going away and so I go forward into destiny
I don’t dance in the euphoria of our togetherness
Like pearls on a strand is the path to your heart
An ant am I on the crawl cross the capillaries of fate
Slipping on time to get to you
And spinning nearly every time off an invisible edge
She takes his jabs seriously,
Talantbek Chekirov
exasperated by both tone and objective
Thinking, how could a man be so single-minded
and obtuse?
Her skin crawls imagining his stories
into reality with the foulness of his language
and insistence on depictions of the most base
of human experiences.
Yet, she forgives his coarseness when her body shivers in the heated silence
that darkness brings
When tensions between them melt,
pressed out by the purifying acts of physical love.
In those times he brings her past the words
and into the theater of animal fantasy.
How does one resist, in good faith,
The subtle, mechanical spell of lust
That at one moment seems only a passing appreciation
And the next becomes progressively consumate in thought
Leading to opportunity for deed
The world unravels itself in tangles of these affairs!
And at one point can the thread be snapped?
And where is the line to be drawn?
Are these the kinds of questions that have led us to cover
every inch of ourselves in cloth?
So that no man should ever have to ask himself?
I try not to say I know God, that I understand Allah, that the nature of the universe is not a mystery;
but then to myself and in secret I explore the depths and the simplicities in full view of the One who sees the insides of my heart and soul;
and by means of design am provided the tools for excavation.
I scoop up the earth and mud established and concretely cemented, digging for pure, raw reality;
and at some point realize that the slick muck and shining layers are not an illusion.
The hate, the fear, the insipid platitudes along with the hope, compassion and peaceful breath – no more false than the sought for foundation.
All comes from and all returns to the source.
The weeds be kind and gentle
this first breath of fall
while tearing up around the edges
you return to drink the rain
and wrap the body laying in the ground
so it to can become the rotten longing
fields and orchards tumble into grief
the children scatter to collect the end of a great harvest
to hold it in a jar, preserving the essence of life
because we refuse not to go on
even while the whole world dies around us
The third time she saw him, he was standing on the other side of an empty soccer field.
In the earliest morning hour, the moment before dawn,
The miraculous creation of color in a world of black and white transfixed her eyes.
Objects seemed to spring into existence out of nothingness.
He stood there with gaze fixed on the horizon,
Looking like the last member of an ancient race: lost in time and forgotten.
The scene took her,
And it seemed she awoke within a dream.
Standing under the fig tree, blended and hidden from view,
She wondered whom this human form held.
The first pangs of longing stole shallow inhalations inside her chest.
Each time she exhaled she discovered emptiness,
And trembled with fear.
She had heard that desire could lead to other things.
Like breathing, what was essential in life could not be held onto for more than a moment.
Her next inhalation brought into her all the potential
For passion, attachment and loss that a lifetime might offer.
But she knew none of what it meant,
Sensing it only as a slight pain in her side
That by a tragic error of fate she mistook for love.
I exist to know God and to become my true self through experience
To follow heavenly mandate
Which is simply this – surrender
And so far as I know the plan to do so is even more simple
Loss, longing and grief lead to humility and submission
And this the essence of right living
<<<<Nourishing Destiny: The inner tradition of Chinese Medicine, by L.S. Jarret>>>>
There was a subtle way between us
That made me feel strong before the trouble came to test these virtues we call:
Love, compassion, forgiveness, honesty
And when you fell victim to your own lowering beast
My resolute faithfulness must have burnt your conscience
With the ache we know as guilt
There was no pain more great than to watch you suffer and to feel
The great chasm of powerlessness growing
But that chaos and uncertainty over losing you destroyed
Long kept beliefs in control, manipulation and solitude
The grief that came drove me to my knees
Humility and surrender became my righteousness
As your spirit leaked away in sickness, dying, falling away into the dark
tragedy of your addiction
My life force increased and my blessings overflowed the cup of my being
Allah has pushed us apart on our paths to discover Him
But I thank you and pray for your salvation in this lifetime
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