Save Our Shepherd

the universe contains a terror

we brought you, physical,

into this world

and now pray

to the Ruler of Creation

to let you stay

for more than just one beautiful year

we shudder on the hospital floor

suddenly, we find

ourselves fallen

in the bright darkness, we ask That Beyond Body

to heal and preserve

to keep your temple intact

and we speak to you,

Son,

stay close to mommy and daddy

do not go

where you cannot hear our voices

we so cherish you,

little one

for all the years we waited to hold you,

let us have many years in return

in earnest,

our pleading shakes the heavens

flesh of our flesh, keep

love’s power magic prevail

Oh Healer, Oh Preserver, Oh Restorer of Life

Save our Shepherd

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meeting the would-be-in-laws

Summer now and time to meet the would-be in-laws

All they know of me is that I am not brown, not Hindu

And of them I know:

The mother’s resentment of my foreignness,

The father’s reputation for docility

And the family altogether strict, orthodox in their religion.

From the heights of their supremacy

They esteem me – the bug.

To the matriarch, abhorrent! As if her son said to her that he fell in love with a cockroach

Sitting diagonal across the table I stare at her face in all my earnestness

She turns away and looks toward the far corner of the restaurant, into some imagined alternate now

The father takes a tender bite of yam and smiles gently, nodding his support

My dearest sits meekly fidgeting

I telepathically urge him to show resolve, yet realize his spine is pure jelly

Our future children are counting on us, damn you!

My smile gets up to 11

And I reach deep into the darkest depths of my being for those great special words

Those of power to draw sympathy, compassion, come on – at least respect!

I reach beneath the shallow platitudes for the words to end all words

They must arrive in time before the appetizers finish

For I must speak that, which will change the muck of entrenched racism into sweet multicultural liberalism, or at least peaceful acceptance

The mother winces under the heat of my radiant smiling face

It almost hurts to plead so loudly without uttering a single syllable

I envision her grandchildren among us

They play with the table cloth, and steal paati’s slippers

I pray her heart melts for them whom no one yet knows

I decide in that moment to keep silent

And to give her the space and time to surrender with dignity

Let Go

Drinking in the rain

Falling like, flavored like, tears

Grief tastes just like salt

Your kisses too

We’re tempted by the sweet watermelon skin and get

Drunk on memories

Our past selves, well they’re dead

And here we’re a galaxy of cells holding onto consequences,

Dragging the future into the past

Maybe just let go

Let go of me and I’ll let go of you

We’ll slip like water off a metal roof,

And run into the unknown

Early Summer

took a walk along a wooded early summer path – and languished in subtle insights – like about how sure and pleased with themselves the blossoms look – then thought out the metaphor of love – and how we all miss the bloom – and later resent the golden beauty of fall leaves – whithering and saying goodbye  – even in summer my inner days fill with misty remembering – the rain never quite falls – held in some clouded realm of denial – in perpetual hope that these dividing issues may soon resolve – and togetherness – the rosy sun drenched passion  – will fill our days again

disappears:

disappears:

though i held on til the end “by the tail and the feathered hat”

kept the faith, drank down all your promises

and left the bottle empty

in the sky and under the earth – love

never refused (or you)

so i’m sure the guilt belongs not to me but to fate

no penance, no worry for a wounded heart

life balances her fortunes

God established in good measure all blessings for true believers