Stay with the discomfort

The itch wants me to scratch, calls out impatiently, gnaws a little barbarically

The wolf waits in the woods, howling, calling for me to join the wild pack – to hunt, to explore a tearing and opening, to extinguish life with teeth

The heights at the top of the tower glimmer spectacular death, call me to surrender to the pull of the earth’s womb-ish cavern

I am just days

Slipping away

Fingers tremble holding the last pale cigarette, glow in the dark hot spot

Lungs vociferate in their fitful repetition, heart pounds the drum

Distant party noises sound like someone else dreaming

Here, let me just stay with this discomfort

Not try to solve it

Not try to escape it to some pleasurable betrayal

You menacing itch!

God help me not to scratch

I dare to keep the pain as long as I keep my humanity

The pain gives the gift – awareness of life

Pleasure motive steals reality and digs the early grave

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