Dear Man Y,

It has come to my reluctant attention that I am infatuated with you in an unhealthy way. As it dawns on me that you neither exhibit the signs of romantic intrigue, nor the respect of friendship I feel the shadow of shame creep over my psyche. This is so embarrassing. It surpasses my understanding. How, when I am so young and beautiful and you so old and vile, do you fail to see what a rare opportunity falls before you? When you, object of my desire, do not reciprocate as so desired but intentionally use me as convenient for some amount of physical satisfaction – it wounds my ego critically. Yet, as you know and have stated, it makes me want you even more. You play the game as a winner, and I as pathetic loser. Now is a solemn moment, where in order to take back even an ounce of lost dignity, it is required that I crush this infatuation.

I begin by apologizing. First, I am sorry to have thrust myself on you, when all the signs indicated your disinterest. How terrible it must have been to have a brilliant, sexy, caring and enigmatic creature clamoring day and night for your affections. How selfish I have been. Second, I apologize to myself – to my higher self – which is far too genuine to be wasted in this manner. Self, you are divine and questing for exquisite soul love. You deserve so much more than to be squandered on a petty crush. Third, I apologize to my friends, who have had to listen to this nonsense, and have done so with great reserve and understanding.

Now back to you Mr. Man Y. I am not angry, but only determined, that for both our sakes, I will not be returning your flirtatious text messages. I will not be coming to your house late in the night so that you may use my soft feminine form for your indifferent sexual justification. I will treat you with kindness as our paths invariably cross, but expect no more glint in my eye at your appearance. For all things have a time and place. Now is time to abort this unholy coupling, which was never destined for greatness.

Sincerely,
Zebra Princess