This Morning We Wake

This morning we wake
Very far apart
My daughter is sitting next to me singing “all the pretty horses”
With a voice clear as a bell
Today you begin to formally say goodbye to your brother
And of course, I want to be there with you because of love
But of course, I cannot be with you because of love
Yes, the intricacies make this difficult
For my instincts oppose each other cruelly
Knowing what you need- to be with family
Knowing what you do not need- to see me
Is not hurtful, only truth
I would drop the world to be at your side
And you know this
So there is no doubt of my intentions
Here I am – finally learning how to give you space

Understanding Cost

I am trying to understand the cost of reaching out to a man who is in the depths of despair. I wonder if I have already pushed too far.

Men are like dogs in a lot of ways. Okay… so they are like animals in general. Let’s not take this as an offense in this case. When wounded, a dog (or any animal of analogous choosing) will find a dark, quiet place to hide. In men, the reaction to emotional trauma is the same.

When a woman, the caring nurturer, sees the wounded man, she goes to care for him. Yet his instinctual need to hide under the porch and whimper alone and despondent, causes the man to fear her presence. He may lash out and bite the woman, indicating he has no desire to be tended.

Women and men – there are such disparities in nature and civilization. The man hurts and wanders off to contemplate his pain. The woman hurts to see the man so wounded. She will stand there not so far away, on guard until he is ready to come back. A smart woman knows not to approach him, but to wait for him to come to her. She knows he will come when he is ready. The cost of breaking this rule may be a complete rejection, or the loss of the hand she reaches out to him in love. We must understand the cost of following our instincts, and ignoring the needs of the other.