I started saying it years ago in a cutsie little voice, “You’re my pocket boyfriend. I just take you and put you right here and carry you around all day.” I’ve used it with three different guys and they all think it’s special and unique. I just like it, it’s part of my way of thinking about relationships – boyfriend goes in the pocket.

Usually I keep one boyfriend in my pocket at a time, but I begin to wonder if two will fit. Might it be too cramped? Will they fight in there?  One boy alone cannot satisfy me. It is not sex that I need. I have psychological and emotional needs that are best satisfied by two different individuals. One represents security and companionship. The other: danger and excitement. Intellectually I argue that I should let one go for the other, and practically speaking I have done so for the moment. Part of me however, continues to desire the company of my bad boy and his naughty ways. I see him around and we flirt. He haunts my phone with cryptic text messages. I cannot decipher his code, but his unusual ways tempt.

In all honesty there is the potential for love on both sides. I have a lot of love to give. I could love them both. But could I, split between two, satisfy my partners? Would they not then look for their own secondaries? Should I even consider such a risk in love? It seems I may retire these fantasies and opt for the stable progression of compatible coupling that may lead to a lifetime of ease and companionship. It seems that may happen soon, but for now… it’s all conjecture. Indeed…