After a month and a half of almost no contact whatsoever, it all came down to one phone call one night and BAM – SEX! We had a nice intimate encounter. Do I want to get back together with him? How can I know? I was having an out of body experience. It was surreal being in his room, on his bed, in the same way that it had always been, but it was suddenly different. We were different. There was passion, intensity, longing, pulling, pushing, desperation, desire. We were connected and disconnecting.
It felt easy to be there, to hold each other after, to be two bodies completely naked and vulnerable. Conversation was light, natural and it had a quality like homemade pie. Just pure goodness. I took nothing for granted, not like before. I cherished every moment our skin touched, every kiss, every time our eyes locked. I left at the perfect moment. He didn’t ask me to stay. He saw me to the door. Will you regret this? He asked. Probably, I said. Thinking to myself the opposite, I regret nothing with you.
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May 29, 2008 at 11:02 pm
pseudonymblog
Wow, great writing…
June 19, 2008 at 8:03 am
Anonymous
I’m going through something very similar at the moment. We split up a couple of months ago – we have both moved on and changed – now we have had sex together and suddenly feel different together – no pressure or anxieties, just natural unquestioned intimacy….
We are still splitting up – we know it is the best for both of us (we both need to do some growing up – in many ways we are not individual or strong enough for each other yet) – but for a few days it’s been a special encounter that has erased the hurt from how we had split up (we split up badly – is there any othe way!!)
It is so complicated but just need to do what is best for you. I still believe she is ‘the one for me’ – but we got together too young and grew into so many bad habits, we lost ourselves somewhere along the way (or never had the chance to find ourselves in the first place).